Strong Words, Softly Spoken

The title of this post is a quote from the film “Away From Her.” It’s been a very long time since I’ve watched a film that actually made me feel so much. It stars Julie Christie, Gordon Pinsent & Olympia Dukakis. It’s about a man who has to institutionalize his wife after she develops Alzheimers, and then has to watch her day in and day out as she forgets him and turns her affections to another man who lives in the assisted living home with her.

When I say it was heartbreaking…I don’t mean just a little sad…I mean gut wrenchingly heartbreaking. To the point that by about halfway through the film, I was really wishing that I had never put it in. I’m not sure that there has ever been a film that I’ve had such a hard time watching. Don’t get me wrong – it is a great film and I think Julie Christie definitely deserved the Oscar nomination she received for it. It’s just so tragic and so disconcerting.

You can pretty much figure out early on that he wasn’t always the best husband and that there were some infidelities on his part, and you can see him wrestling with this guilt, but the way he loves this woman…and the way he needs her and begs her not to leave him…and the way you feel his pain when he realizes that she’s gone and that she’s found another man in the midst of losing herself…and the way he still goes every single day and watches her with this other man…and the extent to which he does things just to make sure she’s happy………I hope I am this lucky when I’m old and ill. Like I said, it’s just been a long while since I’ve been that moved, and that devastated watching a film.

I was really interested to see how men feel about this film because it’s quite possible that my reaction to it is simply because one of my weaknesses is old people…especially old couples in love…so I took a trip to rotten tomatoes (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/away_from_her/) this morning to read some of the reviews and was quite happy to see that male critics were also commenting on how tough it was to get through. One critic even said “‘Away From Her’ is at once one of the most romantic love stories and most frightening horror films I’ve ever seen. ”

So true, my friend. So true.